Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
TV quiz shows have always been big business for those who want to win some quick cash, a holiday, or a badly made crystal decanter set (remember back to the shows in the 70’s and 80’s?)
Most contestants are people like you and me. Good common sense, can find the UK on a map, and know that oranges grow on trees.
But then, somewhere from the depths of the Amazon jungle, TV producers dig up people who give answers like these…
Q: What kind of dozen is 13?
A: Half a dozen.
Q: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?
A: George Bush.
Q: Of all Beatrix Potter’s books, which is the only one to feature a human in the title?
A: Peter Rabbit.
Q: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?
A: Leonardo Di Caprio.
Q: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character, clad only in a loincloth, did he play?
Q: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
A: (long pause) 14 days.
Q: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
A: I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.
Some of these contestants can’t even ‘get’ the answer with the presenter helping them a little, or in most cases, a hell of a lot:
Presenter: What is another name for “cherrypickers” and “cheesemongers”?
Presenter: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
Presenter: What’s 11 squared?
Contestant: I don’t know.
Presenter: I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
Presenter: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Presenter: He makes bread.
Presenter: He makes cakes.
Contestant: Kipling Street?
Answer: Baker Street
Presenter: Where is Cambridge University?
Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point
Presenter: There’s a clue in the title
Presenter: What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Presenter: It’s got two sylla-bles… Kor…
Presenter: Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run…
Presenter: Okay, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I…
Answers: Koran & ran
Then, there are the presenters that just give up, knowing their contestant is a lost cause:
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Presenter: That’s close enough.
Answer: Roman Catholic
…. And lastly, there is this person…
So, what is the best Q and A combo you’ve every heard?
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