Er, yep. I’ve got the ‘ump big time and my arms are tightly folded in front of my chest. There is no way I am budging on this one!
Or, are my arms folded tightly to my chest because it’s ten below freezing and I look like an icicle?
What exactly do the actions of our arms reveal about us?
How can we tell what someone is thinking by what their arms are doing?
Confident people sit and sprawl their arms out to make themselves a ‘big’ as possible while, when we feel bored or low we try to make ourselves seem ‘smaller’ by hiding our hands and keeping our arms tight to our body. Seems simple, right?
But is it?
Here’s one example where a movement can mean two different things.
Arms Crossed
Above we have two men, both with their arms crossed… And yet both portray a different ‘feel’.
Crossing arms is one way a writer could show a character as being upset or angry. Afterall, isn’t that the image we really conjure up when told someone has their arms crossed?
The man on the left looks how a reader may envisage this. But, the man on the right looks the complete opposite and appears very happy and relaxed.
If we take in to account ALL the other body language signs, smiles, eyes, stance, we can see two very different images.
Arms Crossed, Fists Clenched
Anyone feel like they’re about to be punched? No? Just me then.
Steven Aitchison puts this down to a behaviour mostly used by children who do not get what they want or are in trouble for something. We grown-ups tend to carry this trait through to adult life.
Hugging Yourself
Probably doesn’t come as much or a surprise that women often hug themselves and men usually don’t.
But why do we do this? Because we all want to feel comfortable and secure just like our parents made us feel when we were children?
In public, or in large groups of people, we try to make our sense of unease or vulnerability less obvious. We do this with a partial hug: leaving one arm at our side while the other arm crosses our body to hold it.
One hug I think we all find distressing is seeing children hugging their knees. It depicts being scared, insecure, frightened….probably why it is so successful for charities.
Arm’s Behind The Head
How confident and relaxed are you!
Lean back in that chair and watch as the others around you squirm and panic. Or, while sitting, stretch your arms out along the backs of the seats. How intimidating and amost always a stance adapted by men. But, is it a sign of being cocky or just feeling at ease?
In front of a group of strangers, then arguably ‘cocky’ springs to mind. But, if in the company of friends, this looks no more than a man feeling comfortable and at ease with his mates.
Raised Arms
This picture says it all. Hunky men are found on the beach….No, oh well.
We all throw our arms in the air when we have no worries, no fears or concerns, and basically are very, very happy with life.
Of course, some people do it when frustrated, but they usually have a pile of ripped papers in their hands at the time.
Now, throw your arms in the air and take a deep breath. See how you feel straight afterwards.
Next week, we’ll continue this and look at the arm signals used when flirting so you guys can head down to the nearest bar and try them out.
But for now, I want to know if you threw your arms in the air and how it made you feel. What other arm signals do you use (email all rude jokes to me directly) for your characters when writing? What do you feel are the obvious arm signals? What is your favorite arm signal? Jeez, I really am setting myself up for some naughty comments.
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This is fantastic! I’ve been struggling this as well. I keep feeling like my characters are crossing their arms and now I have better way of showing it. Thank you!
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Ha ha ha, I know the feeling. There is only so much arm crossing we can make our darlings do!
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I hug myself often. Consciously, I think it’s because I’m cold. But maybe there’s more to it than that. 😀
Something interesting I read: A person who clasps their hands in front of them when they’re speaking might look like they’re pleading, but they’re actually trying to control the situation. Not sure if it’s true or not.
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Actually, you could be right. Politicians do that quite a lot when talking to journalists. I’ll check that one out.
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As one who tends to overexplain, I need to learn more about body language and how I can convey a character’s feelings by proper use of it. Thanks, Donna.
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David, you are very welcome. I am like you. I talk way tooooooo much and descriptive body language is shorter and quicker 🙂
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Terrific post and blog, Donna! I’m fascinated by body language…Selfishly, I hope you continue to address it here. 😉
Hmm… I’m not sure what my favorite arm signals is. Perhaps outstretched arms, the gateway for hugs. (Cheese-o-rama, but true. LOL) I use various arm movements in my writing…all depends on the character and scenario.
Thanks for the fun post!
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Thanks so much for you comment, August. (Great name by the way)
My ‘eye’ post was really well received, as is this one, so I will definitely be carrying on the theme. This Friday’s will be ‘flirting’. Oh, and for the record, I’m a hugger, too 😀
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This is an awesome post! I use arms a lot in my writing; and you’ve just validated my reasons why. I should have studied body language in college. Oh, wait – forgot to go to college. Oh well.
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Christine, I’ve always wanted to study body language….I just don’t have the time *shrugs shoulders and throws hands up in the air* 🙂
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Being in sales, I study body language all the time. There’s nothing worse than when I’m working with a salesperson that can’t pick up obvious body language from a customer. Especially when the customer’s body is saying, “I’m ready for you to leave,” and I can tell the salesperson is just starting to get wound up.
I had a great sales mentor, and he would tell me what to look for, so I never bought any books on body language, though I’m sure there are plenty out there that can give us direction as writers on how to use body language as descriptors for our characters.
The one thing you have to be careful of is the client/character that understands body language and uses it to their advantage, i.e. they send off false signals intentionally. Good idea for some antags.
Thanks Donna,
Kerry
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Kerry, that is a good twist – someone who manipulates body language. Oh, see, now you’ve switched on the ideas machine 🙂
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I’ll never forget the first time I saw the arms in back of the head position. My husband and I were at a family reunion. And as I glanced around the room, I found every McFarland male sitting with their hands behind their heads engrossed in conversation. Every single one. I rushed to get the camera. It must be in their DNA! LOL.
I look forward to your next post Donna.
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Ha ha ha. Karen, that is hilarious. Do you still have the picture?
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I switched on your idea machine? Everyone needs to slowly back away from Donna’s blog and RUN LIKE HELL. Nooooo, Donna’s idea machine has run amuck. We’re doomed. ;-). Sorry, too much coffee. Have a great week.
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LOL. Oh yes……be afraid……be very afraid.
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Great blog, Donna. My characters also point fingers and poke toward people, and one of them often clutches a religious pendant she wears. Thanks for your post. 🙂
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Piper, thanks for commenting! I like the idea of poking a finger at someone. It’s so aggressive 🙂
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[…] Donna Newton tells us what our characters’ arms are saying. Arms, and What They Show Your Reader […]
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