Posts Tagged ‘arms’

Be aware  the next time you go to dinner or have a drink with someone. You may just be telling them exactly how and what you feel without opening your mouth.

How? Body language. Let’s take your arms, for example. They are chatty little things.

Usually, I have to do something stupid to catch a guy’s eye. Then I flutter my eye lashes and curl my index finger towards him. Then, I get out the lasso and drag him towards me. Now, it appears I don’t have to consciously do anything! My arms will do it all for me. How cool is that?

So, how do we do these unconscious acts? I’ll tell you.

Touching Your Arm

So there you are, standing at the bar when a guy (or girl) approaches you. Then, while chatting, they touch your arm. And, just to be clear, were not talking about them wrestling it behind your back (like I often do before forcing said person into my trunk). No, I mean the more subtle way they accidentally brush their hand against yours.

What does it mean? Well, if they do this, then it means they like you and want your full attention.

Stroking Their Arm

What if, while talking to you, this woman (men don’t usually do this), begins to stroke their own …. arm? (Come on, lets keep this out of the gutter). If you’re a guy, then congratulations – you’ve scored because it is the womans way of subtley letting you know she wants you to touch her.

Arm Around The Chair

A classic for that first date at the cinema. I think it has happened to everyone at some point or another and doesn’t really need an explanation. But did you know if the arm is kept there, especially after a conversation has finished, it is a sure sign that the person is ‘marking his territory’. And we all agree it’s a much better way than a dog does it.

Leaning forward elbows on knees

By this, we mean from a sitting position; the person leans closer to you and rests their elbows on their knees. It’s another sign that someone is flirting with you. Only, with this signal you have to be careful they aren’t just hard of hearing.

Elbow Touching

Hmmm….Not quite exactly what I meant.

Being touched on this area means you’d better have ex-foliated all that hard skin away!

The elbow is a safe way for someone to show they like you and want your attention. Because the elbow isn’t classed an intimate part of the body, it is a subtle sign and if a stranger did it, we probably wouldn’t mind – unless it were in a darkened alley at the time.

Showing The Wrist or Forearm

This is a soft and vulnerable area of the body and classed as erotic. Usually a sign shown by the female when she is interested in dating.

So, what arm signs do you do when trying to show a person you like them? Are you even conscious you are doing it? Have you ever been aware of someone showing these signs to you? Let me know.

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Er, yep. I’ve got the ‘ump big time and my arms are tightly folded in front of my chest. There is no way I am budging on this one!

Or, are my arms folded tightly to my chest because it’s ten below freezing and I look like an icicle?

What exactly do the actions of our arms reveal about us?

How can we tell what someone is thinking by what their arms are doing?

Confident people sit and sprawl their arms out to make themselves a ‘big’ as possible while, when we feel bored or low we try to make ourselves seem ‘smaller’ by hiding our hands and keeping our arms tight to our body. Seems simple, right?

But is it?

Here’s one example where a movement can mean two different things.

Arms Crossed

Above we have two men, both with their arms crossed… And yet both portray a different ‘feel’.

Crossing arms is one way a writer could show a character as being upset or angry. Afterall, isn’t that the image we really conjure up when told someone has their arms crossed?

The man on the left looks how a reader may envisage this. But, the man on the right looks the complete opposite and appears very happy and relaxed.

If we take in to account ALL the other body language signs, smiles, eyes, stance, we can see two very different images.

Arms Crossed, Fists Clenched

Photo from Sapientology

Anyone feel like they’re about to be punched? No? Just me then.

Steven Aitchison puts this down to a behaviour mostly used by children who do not get what they want or are in trouble for something. We grown-ups tend to carry this trait through to adult life.

Hugging Yourself

Probably doesn’t come as much or a surprise that women often hug themselves and men usually don’t.

But why do we do this? Because we all want to feel comfortable and secure just like our parents made us feel when we were children?

Photo from Forbes

In public, or in large groups of people, we try to make our sense of unease or vulnerability less obvious. We do this with a partial hug: leaving one arm at our side while the other arm crosses our body to hold it.

One hug I think we all find distressing is seeing children hugging their knees. It depicts being scared, insecure, frightened….probably why it is so successful for charities.

Arm’s Behind The Head

Photo from Superstock

How confident and relaxed are you!

Lean back in that chair and watch as the others around you squirm and panic. Or, while sitting, stretch your arms out along the backs of the seats. How intimidating and amost always a stance adapted by men. But, is it a sign of being cocky or just feeling at ease?

In front of a group of strangers, then arguably ‘cocky’ springs to mind. But, if in the company of friends, this looks no more than a man feeling comfortable and at ease with his mates.

Raised Arms

This picture says it all. Hunky men are found on the beach….No, oh well.

We all throw our arms in the air when we have no worries, no fears or concerns, and basically are very, very happy with life.

Of course, some people do it when frustrated, but they usually have a pile of ripped papers in their hands at the time.

Now, throw your arms in the air and take a deep breath. See how you feel straight afterwards.

Next week, we’ll continue this and look at the arm signals used when flirting so you guys can head down to the nearest bar and try them out.

But for now, I want to know if you threw your arms in the air and how it made you feel. What other arm signals do you use (email all rude jokes to me directly) for your characters when writing? What do you feel are the obvious arm signals? What is your favorite arm signal? Jeez, I really am setting myself up for some naughty comments.

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