humour | Donna Collins' Blog

Posts Tagged ‘humour’

How Do You Travel To Work?

Posted in Other Stuff, tagged author, bikes, Donna Collins, Donna Newton, fiction, humor, humour, paranormal, thriller, trains, travel, writer on September 21, 2012| 6 Comments »

It’s been some ten years or so since I did boarded trains and the whole travelling to work thing. Now, my travel consists of a walk to the kitchen to make a cuppa, and then a flight of stairs to my office.

Most of us do this in a conventional way. And then there are these guys….

Hasn’t anyone heard of an invention called the ‘Boat’?

If she could get away with it, my daughter would have one of these.

…And if I could get away with it, I’d have this.

How many farmers does it take to sow a field?

The same amount of workmen it takes to dig a hole.

I see what the driver’s getting, but what does the female get from this deal?

…. Maybe one of these.

Probably not the best way to take your washing to the laundrette.

… Or your wife on her honeymoon.

And people thought British Rail had problems.

Where it all began… The man with the dog powered bicycle.

So, what is the worse journey you’ve ever experienced? And let me know which is your favourite picture and why.

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I Could Model For Pretty Polly

Posted in Other Stuff, tagged author, crime, Donna Newton, embarrass, fiction, humour, paranormal, pretty polly, tights on September 9, 2011| 7 Comments »

No, these aren't my legs but they could be, with a little airbrushing.

Every once in a while I have a mad inclination to embarrass myself and then, even worse, to share that embarrassment with the world.

Have you checked out my early attempt at fan mail?

Well, once again I feel I have out-done myself….only this time with a little help from my sister.

Let me tell you the story of how this all began.

Once upon a time, many, many years ago, there was a girl called Donna. One day, Donna was with her sister and boyfriend when they found a pair of tights. With nothing better to while away the time, they decided to play a game of dare. This little game stuck in their minds for the following twenty years, often making them grin whenever one of them brought it up. Donna’s boyfriend later became her husband, and each sister grew up and had their own family. Then, one day the two sisters found a pair of tights. Remembering the fun time they’d had all those years earlier, they decided to once again play a game…..

I'm the good-looking one on the left.

So, please tell me you’ve done something similar? In fact, I would like everyone to email me a picture of themselves with a stocking on their head. I will add them to a blog and we’ll vote on the best one. Come on, don’t be shy. I can keep them anonymous if you wish. 🙂

Email me at pointwelldonna@googlemail.com

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Perfection, Flaws, And The Killer Bee

Posted in Other Stuff, tagged antagonists, attack, author, bee, blood, books, characters, critique groups, daisies, Donna Newton, donnanewton, facebook, famous, fiction, flaw, flaws, friends, fun, hidden, humor, humour, hurt, imagination, inspiration, kristen lamb, mystery, novel, perfect, perfection, post box, romance, roses, snow, social media, thorns, thriller, twitter, valentines day, villain, writer, writing, wwbc on January 12, 2011| 5 Comments »

The UK has had an amazing amount of snow this winter. I frequently found myself standing in the kitchen and just looking out the window at the white covered fields that surround my house – hey, I’ll use any excuse not to do the washing up and snow seemed to be the excuse everyone was using for not working. 😀

One thing is for sure. Snow is beautiful. It can transform even the most horrid of places into a serene and peaceful area befitting any Christmas card.

But then it struck me. Snow is extremely cunning and deceitful. It lures you in with the promise of fun but in reality, it has claimed the lives of so many people. In fact, snow is a real killer and its sister, the wicked Ice Queen, is worse. She is just pure evil and will stop at nothing to make our lives a misery, particularly the ones who don’t take up arms and prepare for her arrival. Frozen pipes, black ice, and have you ever been hit with an iced snow ball? That will draw blood, guaranteed.

So, then I started thinking of other items that lure us in with their perfect beauty, only to attack when we least expect it.

Roses are classed as one of the most elegant and beautiful flowers. Their aroma is intoxicating and they are arguably the most stunning flower created. They draw you in. You have to smell that rose, to touch its silky petals….and then, BAM! Either a thorn stabs you through the thumb or a big, fat bee flies out from the hidden depths of the flower and stings you on the nose. I mean, these flowers are given on Valentines Day as a sign of love for crying out loud. What you’re really getting is a box of thorns hidden by silk petals. If you love me, send me daisies. They won’t draw blood and there’s nowhere for any killer bugs to hide.

So I guess what I am really saying is this. If it happens to snow on Valentines Day, and you have to walk the length of your pathway to collect a box of roses from your post box, just stop and think of the senders real intentions.

Okay, so this was just a fun post, but can you think of any other perfections that have flaws?