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We often forget about the things we did as kids, maybe because our memories are not as sharp as they used to be when we hit middle age, but probably because these memories are so embarrassing, we choose to block them from our minds.

A couple of days ago, I was searching for some photographs. Now, if your parents are like mine, your whole life is packed into boxes and stored in the attic, and when I say your whole life I mean it. From the love letters you wrote to your first crush in maths class to the hideous video footage of your first sports day when you won the 100 metre sprint but all you really see are my skinny legs and knobbly knees. Anyway, my mum retrieved some of these boxes and, together, we began to go through them. I can tell you, while a mystery to me at the time, I look back at my school photos and now fully understand why I couldn’t get a boyfriend! Just when I didn’t think I could feel any worse about myself, I found something I really couldn’t remember writing. Of course, my hubby quickly took a photograph of it and threatened to publish it on Facebook…Who said a relationship stales after marriage?

So as a bit of fun (and I wanted to beat him to it), I thought I would share it with you.

 

In case you cannot read it, it says, “Dear John Travolta. I like your records very much and I like Grease. Love Donna. xxxxx”

Oh, how I can feel myself regretting this already. Notice there is no date. This is so I can adamantly deny I was older than five when I wrote it. Unfortunately I was 8 when Grease hit our cinemas, so I reckon I had to be 8 or 9 when I penned it. It reads a little like my query letters now, actually.

Ok, that’s enough laughing at me. I want you to comment with an equally embarrassing story or memory from your childhood. If I get over 15 replies, I will tell you of another TV couple who I do remember writing to, and I was a lot older too. 😀

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Mention the name Osbourne and you could be forgiven if a strangely loveable if not loud and argumentative family springs to mind so when Louis Osbourne agreed to an interview I was just a little apprehensive. ‘I am exceptionally proud of who I am and where I come from.’ He announces in an unexpected friendly and welcoming voice. ‘And I am very, very proud of my father and everything he has achieved.’ But has his father’s notoriety helped him with his own success in the music world? ‘It will only get you so far. It does give you a little step up and will open doors and raise attention to yourself but that can bring both positive and negative things. At the end of the day I will always get the naysayer’s saying I’m a pratt and that I use my name but you have to be thick skinned about it.’ But even the naysayer’s have to admit that it was pure hard work and not the Osbourne name that earned him his law degree in 2007. So does he feel his life would have travelled a different route had his mother and father not divorced? ‘You know there was very, very good reasons why my mother and father split up that’s all been well documented. I really don’t know how it would have turned out (if he’d stayed). Nobody has ever asked me that before but to be honest I can’t actually see it happening any other way.’ Surprisingly there is none of the bitterness you may expect from a son who may appear to some as being left behind when the Osbourne boat sailed. ‘Since I was 13 or 14 I just wanted to go out and be independent.’ He chuckles to himself that automatically arouses curiosity. ‘When I was 16 me and my mate both got tickets (to a rave) and then my mates’ mum found out and she wouldn’t let him go. My mum though was like ‘Go on you can go’, so I got a train from Birmingham to Exeter and then from Exeter to West Point Exhibitions to Fantasia and went raving on my own, completely on my own!’ His chuckle grows into an amusing laugh. So was this the inspiring moment that he thought a DJ would be a good career path to follow? ‘It was actually my friend Alex who got me into DJing. I was 19 and he had this gig in Sheffield one night and started playing me all this (electro) style of music I was never even into before and I just got really hooked.’ So where does he think he would have ended up had this historic night been missed? ‘Er many places including prison probably.’ He sniggers sarcastically. ‘I spent two nights in Her Majesty’s Hotel. Nothing violent or untoward, I was young and foolish and stupid. I guess I just have a bit of an appetite for going out and when most people have gone home I’m still on it. You know first and foremost I do what I do ‘cause I love the music but also it ticks so many boxes in regards to lifestyle, travel, being self-employed and being independent. They’re all things that basically make me who I am. Cheesy thing to say but that’s the way I was heading really. I look back at some of the things and places and experiences I’ve had over the years with a kind of fondness and also a kind of ‘oh my god did I do that?’ I must have been insane.’

But you’re a parent yourself now so looking back in hindsight do you think you will allow your children to experience the same freedom? ‘No!’ A big boom of laughter tells me that he has only revealed the tip of the ice burg from his childhood antics. ‘I know what goes on in these kinds of places.’ Again another laugh confirms my thoughts. ‘I would never dream of letting them go. But you know I can’t think that far ahead as they’re only babies, when they’re 16 and I can see if they have a good head on their shoulders or not I might let them go. I mean I look back at pictures of me at that age now and I look just like a child.’

With such a strong Birmingham background how did you end up in Ireland? ‘Well I was touring a lot in America when I met my wife in a bar in Los Angeles through a mutual friend. We lived there together for almost a year and then got engaged before moving back to Ireland where a year later we got married.’ But how does an energetic DJ who admits to getting nostalgic every time he returns to his Birmingham roots cope with the quietness of the Irish lifestyle? For the first time ever I recently came back to where I’m living at the moment in Ireland and I was glad. I think cause I’ve been away for so long and living out of bags, it’s nice to be back in your own place with your own things.’ Another of those trademark chuckles as he compares himself to that of a hobo. It’s all very hard to imagine the son of a famous rock star a hobo? ‘It’s the length of time I spend touring and living out of bags although I actually worked out recently that I’m happiest when I’m on the move. Maybe it’s kind of like symptomatic of how I’ve lived my life but I just love bouncing from one place to the next. I could just be on the hop basically.’ Admittedly this does sound all very exciting but how does it fit in with being a husband and father? ‘Ask the wife?’ he laughs. ‘I pine for my children and I miss them terribly when I’m away but if I stay at home for too long I stagnate, I’d be climbing the walls and going stir crazy. I mean there was one year when I did 26 return trips to the states, you know it was like hopping backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards. To some people that’s their idea of hell but I love it. I love going in places and meeting people and seeing new things, experiencing things and having a fucking good laugh if I’m telling the truth.’ Okay, so at this stage some may be yelling ‘carbon footprint’ at the top of their voices and tutting with extreme exaggeration. ‘I do have a conscious about it to an extent as well but I can’t really go to the states on a solar powered hovercraft.’ This is true. So how does one compromise? ‘It’s difficult to make enough small profound changes but I do drive a one litre VW Polo and I get a lot of stick because of it. People assume I must be driving around in some kind of bling mobile.’ He laughs but there is a hidden pride in his voice. ‘It may only be a 1 litre Polo but it’s got a fucking sound system in it.’ But doesn’t he admit to having Bill Withers and Lou Reed on his iPod? ‘My wife and I don’t share the same tastes in music. I brought her 100 best love songs that she can only play in her car.’ He giggles and I wonder if he is exaggerating the truth but before I can ask he goes back to his sound system. ‘You can hear the music coming miles before the car. It’s quite boy racerish but I love it. It’s not about the car as long as it has very loud music in it.’ This all coming from a 35 year old father of two. ‘I don’t see myself as a very responsible adult myself but I do see myself as a responsible parent. I just hope my life style doesn’t catch up with me to such an extent that I don’t live long enough to see my children develop and my grandchildren growing. You know you can’t keep on partying like you’re 20 when you’re in your 40’s or 50’s because it will catch up with you. I’ve seen the affects it can have on people because obviously I was brought up with my father being a alcoholic but you know you have to just curb it as you grow older and I hope I have.’ Very wise words from such an inspiring voice but at what age will enough be enough? ‘There’s part of me that thinks right that’s enough, better get a real job and settle down but I would be climbing the walls if I did that. There comes a point that the younger generation don’t really want to see old men performing at clubs but then again people still go and see the Stones. I think the most important thing is so long as it’s manageable within your life and as long as people want to see you and as long as you enjoy doing what you do then there’s no reason why you should stop. My dad’s the same. My dad can’t sit still for too long and I don’t think my dad will ever retire to be honest.’ Surely everyone needs to relax? ‘I think most TV is shit, I watch the news and I’m a bit of a news addict. Not sky news that’s crap. I’m getting into this Alga zero English channel because at least it’s kind of impartial news. I like war films, Saving Private Ryan was good. Oh and Superbad was hilarious.’

With a string of European gigs lined up and being the owner of newly set up Mija records after a pulling away from Weekend Offenders and dealing with it’s ongoing dispute, there seems little time to relax let alone plan a rumoured documentary. ‘Where did you read that? Well I have been considering it. My wife is involved in production and has worked on documentaries. I got another friend who is a documentary and film maker and another who’s heavily involved in the industry in many different aspects as an artist in the studio and working in a variety of radio. We wanted to do a documentary on the current state of the music industry and illegal downloading and where it’s all going to lead to.’

Sounds very interesting and if he invests half the passion I have heard when he speaks of his family and his music I am sure it will be a every bit as watchable too although whether he speaks on screen is another matter. ‘Everyone hears their own voice sounding different and I hear mine as being lower so when I first began doing my radio show I thought I sounded gay.’

You can find out more about Louis Osbourne at http://www.louisosbourne.com/ and http://www.myspace.com/louisosbourne

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